I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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