This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
