yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
