yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
