Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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