oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize