I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
