he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
