Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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