How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
