your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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