Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
