Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
A+ Viking dick
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
