i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
