Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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