So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
