i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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