I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
