I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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