He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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