College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
