so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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