Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
