I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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