The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have demons in me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
