I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
