Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
