There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
