oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
