I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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