Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
