So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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