Your tits are I can't wait for
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
