I wish I could teleport
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
