im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
