what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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