I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
