you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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