Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dick very happy bro
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
