theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
