he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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