So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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