Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
