So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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