Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
