just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
