I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
