Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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