Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
