Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
tell me about the fingering
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