are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
