But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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