he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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